The Oklahoma City Bombing

I know I went on! and I'm living a life! But, I left a great deal of myself there and every time I go to the Bombing Memorial I confront this other being almost as if it's a ghost of me? Sometimes it makes me smile other times I feel anger! I am there and I have bonded with many others in spirit and friendship! We know, we feel, we are together! I cross over the chain and walk up to a chair and leave a penny I just want you to know I was thinking of you and I say to you Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there. I did not die. This goes out to a very special friend of mine.

My darkest Hours still haunt me but you know what I drive forward as much pain as it takes to look into a mirror and see the scars from a day I wish had never happened and so many lost lives I still drive forward! I live with it every single damn day. The images and faces asking for my help and I could do absolutely nothing? Did I not do enough or to much I don’t know and never will? again I drive on and you know why? You’ll laugh! The Sun and the Moon and Air that’s why! So what, life is a bitch you regroup find yourself and move on. So you bitch and moan oh no things won’t work out were all done! My God get a hold of yourself. Here’s the best salvation for you STOP comparing yourself to the other peoples problems! compare yourself to you! And take it for what it’s worth… But your worst enemy is the person in the mirror and if you can face you, you’ll be ok.

Why are you so depressed? I ask you please tell me.

I’ve decided that every time I visit the Okc Memorial which I do often I’ll do my normal routine which is leave a penny and fulfill a lifetime promise to so many people I know! I will also randomly pick out someone for a hug and a photo. I think it sounds pretty cool! I got the idea from a previous trip up from Dallas to Oklahoma City with my wife! she has this knack for me to tell my story which for the most part I do when people want to listen! But, this last time a little old lady from Iowa came up and grabbed me by the arm and ask me to walk with her! she was so tiny and sweet! Anyway, as we walked through the memorial she ask me (Do you know what happened here son?) I just smiled and said nothing and for once I listened.

The Chairs that sit on the grounds of the Murrah site represent each victim of April 19th 1995. They are located on the South side of the reflecting pool.

This is a photo taken from the far East of the memorial looking West, The Regency Apartment building is where I lived.

Not a Day or Night goes by without thinking about the events that happened in Oklahoma City on April 19th 1995, I guess in part because I knew a hand full of the children that perished in this act of terrorism. What you’re looking at is a photo of the West wall looking East into the memorial. This is one entrance to the site as it stands today.

If I remember correctly I took this photo just days before April 19th 1995? You are looking North Oklahoma City from the 18th floor of the Regency Tower Apartments.